I AIN'T Saying you a GOLD DIgger!!! Well F*ck It, YES I AM!!!!

So I am out running in the park with a girlfriend of mine, well maybe it was more like a light jog, OK OK OK I’m a keep it Real cuz I love yall, I am lying I was power walking and sometimes it became a light stroll and other times it became a sit on the bench, lol. If you know me u know I am not running a damn place unless I got to pee really bad!!! SO we are getting our walk on and having a normal convo, how is the kid doing? How is work? What has been going on? You know the regular blahzay blah. So eventually the conversation turns to why she THINKS she can not find someone to be with and how time is a ticking because she is about to be 36. Not sure why but my everyday conversations always turn to the Why somebody can’t find a man convo? I don’t mind it, it gives me stuff to write about later and I try to be honest but sometimes my home girls make me just want to shake em. I mean a hard ass shake, the type of shake I give a baby bottle when the cereal is stuck to the bottom and just won’t quite mix with the damn milk or the kinda shake you give the shake and pour pancake mix. SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE!!!! That is why I write these blogs, so I don’t go to jail for shaking the SHIT out of one of my home girls or one of their simple ass friends. I am only 27 years old and I can not understand some of the simple mess that come out of some people mouths or how in the hell they can not see what I can see. Maybe it is because I had my run and know what the hell a bad relationship looks like, or maybe because I have been the side chick and I was called a “gold digger” once upon a time in a galaxy far far away, lol (I put the quotes around gold digger because most men have nothing but dirt and lint in their pockets, and I was being called a damn gold digger based on assumption, I have heard I give off gold digger vibes, whatever the hell that means?!? JK, I know what it means and I’m guilty).

Anyway back to my home girl, according to her it seems that whenever she meets a guy she likes he isn’t that into her or she finds out he has a girlfriend at home or if he is into her something is always missing, she is either not physically attracted to him, he is too corny or the date is whack. So I listen to her and  I wanted to break this down to her and tried to put it in the simplest terms, I mean DUR, DUR, WE TAW DID terms, but even after my whole damn spiel all the way around the park it still didn’t click. I guess she didn’t really want me to answer the question honestly. I tried explaining to her that the reason why the guys with the woman at home dates are better and not so corny and they have so much Swag already is because he has an established home life with a two income household so he obviously has more play money, his chick has play money too, but she is probably taking hers and buying Gucci bags while he is taking his and taking his side chick to 5 star restaurants. He has Swag because his girlfriend has refined him already, she done cleaned him up and probably showed him the five star restaurant you two are currently at. Yes ladies we refine MEN all the time, we are not talking a complete overhaul, just a little tune up. CAN I GET A AMEN!!!! The guy with nobody and whom is actually single can not afford to take you there and if he can it won’t be regularly, because he isn’t there yet, he has a one income household and usually when a guy is single and has no real responsibilities he will take his extra money and buy a damn 50 inch flat screen television; he is not tricking off on a brand new broad. He is not really that worried about impressing you at this stage in the game and is trying to get to know you.  So what is wrong with a simple meet and greet at happy hour? Absolutely NOTHING!!!! She says to me that she doesn’t understand why she can not have it all. I ask her rhetorically when she says all, what exactly does she mean? I already know what she means, she means the balling lifestyle, the money and the cars the 5 star restaurants and shopping sprees all courtesy of Mr. Right. I explain to her that she can have it all, if she is willing to get there with the guy whom doesn’t necessarily have it all right now, u and the right guy have the potential to build and grow together. Well she gave me the BBM confused/ Scooby Doo face. Like I had two heads or something, I had to look around and make sure Big Foot wasn’t behind me or even worst a fake Ass gang member trying to rob me, she standing there looking all stupid for no Damn Reason. I mean complete silence like I was speaking a foreign language. The conversation quickly flipped to her new purse. That initial conversation reminded me of something I saw on a Facebook Friends Status, it was on his page about a week ago. So once I get home, I go to Facebook and I pull up his page and scroll back through his statuses to refresh my memory of exactly what he wrote, it’s a little vulgar and it can sting to read but it makes sense.

MrSarcasticRahRah wrote

“Men love Pussy, but we do not marry Pussy. A man may show Pussy off to his friends. He might buy Pussy gifts. Occasionally Pussy gets to come out of the house and get treated to dinner. Pussy even gets pregnant and become the baby mama. But he never ever marries Pussy. All men see women as Pussy initially, but after a few conversations we can decide if she worth more.”

After listening to my homegirl I realized that she is simply (that P word) to the men she meets or at least that is how she portrays herself and after the initial conversation they see straight through her because she has major gold digger vibes and by the end of the night they probably realize that she is looking to make the come up. A far as the guys she meets, when she shows up with those vibes seeping through her pores, a guy with somebody can sense it and she becomes his target because she can in a way be bought. I hate to refer to another woman in this way but it is the damn truth and as harsh as it may sound and as blunt as it may be, any woman looking for instant gratification and with this particular mindset will be instantly gratified and demeaned and thought of as “just (that word)”.

You are looking for everything in one shot and he knows it. He may not say it out loud but trust he may definitely be thinking it. Sweetie pies of the world let me break it down to you, it is not because you got there too late and the wife or girlfriend beat you in the race, honey it is because that man sees you as simply (that word) and knows you are about that cash. If you like it, I love it!!! He can spot you a mile away and can pick you out of a room of 30 women. He knows what you are into and that you aren’t going to really be checking for the signs to make sure he is single because you are going to be WOWed by dinner, nice trips and designer trinkets.

Now PLEASE do not see this as me knocking any chicks hustle. I have hustle in my blood, been working since I was 2, lol, and can respect what anyone does. I can respect it because I do not know where they have been on this journey called life and exactly why they have made the choices they have made. I even respect the strippers and the hookers and the gold diggers. I do not knock a paid hoe or stripper and her hustle!!! Now a broke Hoe or a FAT ASS Stripper, I will knock all day, cuz if you are going to do it, you damn for sure better do it well! And lets not have it as a hobby, lets make it a damn profession and get paid for it. I’m Just Saying!!!

 I will not knock a good Gold Digging Chick who is actually making it happen. If you are going to dig for gold don’t just come up with a Lump of Coal or end up with a loser from the 35 and single blog when u can’t find anymore GOLD to dig for!!! Sidebar, a lot of people were knocking the men in the 35 and Single Blog, only a few commented but over 500 of you read it, yeah you don’t have that exact scenario going on because those were a little extreme BUT your story isn’t that far off, please wake up and get a DAMN Clue!!  NOW as I was saying, Contrary to what one may believe the good gold diggers actually have their own and usually have there shit together. These are the gold diggers with longevity, Kim Zolciak comes to mind!!! That is a good ass gold digger!!! She is educated and I am sure she has good if not great credit, she owns a home and when big Poppa bought her a CAR he bought the WHOLE damn car!!! Not LEASED and NOT FINANCED, but  the whole car. No car note for that gold Digger!! Now ThAT is a Good Ass Gold Digger!! We can talk about her self esteem, the fact that he is married, how she feels the next day and that God awful wig, ALL DAMN DAY, but right now we are talking about her making it happen. Now the problem with a lot of women is we need to realize this is the exception not the NORM!!!  Some of us have it TWISTED!!!

To all my women waiting like my homegirl above, I am sorry Sunshine, but Big Poppa or the NBA Player is not going to come whisk your 35 year old ass off into the sunset. It is some young girls out there whom have bodies to die for!!! I am talking Kimmy K and Amber Rose bodies!! Yeah they out there and they are not playing, they got some tricks up their sleeves and what they may lack in age in wisdom, to most men they make up for it in hotness and FLEXIBILITY! I am trying to figure out what the hell is in the MILK these days and how can I get a cup, lol!!! Now the NBA Player may go get HER, but your old ass, hmmmm not so much. You keep looking for the come Up, you will find yourself by yourself. After a certain age your gold digging abilities really take a down fall right along with your boobs, lol!! It’s called Gravity!! Some of us need to realize after a certain age and after you reach a certain point in your life we are too old to still be gold digging. When we were younger it was a little bit more acceptable, but after u hit 30, or even 35 for those of you whom couldn’t come off the porch until you were 25, it is time to hang up your gold digging shoes and let the young girls have them. The guy who appears to not be able to WOW you and Corny may be a diamond in the rough. Now when I say a diamond in the “rough,” I am not talking about the guys from the 35 and Single blog, they are freaking Diamonoids (fake Diamonds)!!! I am talking about the guy who is hard working, has his own things going on and the majority of his ducks in a row, believes in furniture (I am just saying some men do not believe furniture is a necessity), knows what it means to be the man of a household but just need a little exposure and refinement and maybe a little help when it comes to certain things. Not major things, like living with your mama, or being a old ass rapper, but small things, like how to choose a great restaurant.

I say all of this to say, if you are making a conscious decision to start seeking long term companionship and you know that you have been of or about a certain mind frame (money) and if you want to find someone and be in a relationship worth having, you have to let that mindset go!! A man that wants to be with you and a man worth having will see straight through all of that and show you what it is to have longterm financial goals vs short term spend money fast ones.  

I think some women, my homegirl included, need to really evaluate what is important in todays world and what they truly want out of life because a lot of women are living the life and getting the trinkets: jewelry, pocketbooks, a few grand and maybe even a fur coat or two. But none of them are really getting it like they believe they have the potential to get it. Especially after a certain age, some of yall, my homegirl included, been reading too many of those Hood Novels if you ask me. Guys buying boats and whole apartment buildings, GTFOH, I am not saying it doesn’t happen, but Really lets be for real here, its not going to happen to my homegirl and it probably won’t happen to you. She should have went on that venture at 22, not 36.

Now I am not saying my homegirl is a mess, quite the contrary, she just got reality a little warped. She is used to men doing things for her and now that she is looking for a man of her own, she needs to be brought down to reality. She has certain expectations of a man and it is nothing wrong with that, I believe if you are with a man and or dating a man, he definitely should do things for you. Now MAMA didn’t raise no fool. IJS, we need to let go of the fairytale and come on down to reality!!! Live laugh and LOVE!!!!

The Other Woman!!! Who is SHE?!?!?

It was a regular winter night, it was cold but not so cold that a girl wouldn’t be able to pull out her freak em’ dress and get her party on. A couple whom I have known for years are at the bar that I bartend at and they invite me and another friend of ours out to hang as it is there weekly date night. I am tired. But I decide to throw all caution to the wind and hit the scene with them anyway, so NYC here we come. So here I am hanging with the married couple and their buddy whom is also married but opted to leave his wife home. We will call the wifeless married guy, Paul. I have only met Paul’s wife once in passing and honestly can not recall what she looked like, but I do know this man to be a family man, with 2.5 kids, the Dog and the white picket fence, I am talking the Huxtables all the way and I truly believe he loves his family. Me and Paul are cool and have known each other for years and I know what you are thinking, but trust I am NOT the other woman.

So once we get to the club I am hanging with my married friends drinking my wine feeling like the odd one out but not really because Paul is there and we are engaging in platonic conversation.  In the midst of the conversation Paul states that he has a friend meeting him where we are, I give him the side eye and he chuckles a bit and we continue to converse. I ask if she knows he is married and he kindly advises that he takes his ring off for no one. Paul then states he will be right back and in my head I am thinking, I wonder what scally wag he is going to bring up in here tonight.

So I began talking to my girlfriend and she goes into the whole “I wish my husband would” conversation. She is a fire cracker, so I believed her when she stated she will “KNOCK HIS HEAD CLEAN OFF!” So as we wait for this “hoodrat/ scandalous home wrecker” to arrive, we continue to talk. She arrives, and my mouth almost hit the floor. I check her out, she is dress to the nines, petite frame, nice shape and curves all where mine used to be pre pregnancy. I check out her shoes, because any girl can get dressed for one night but the shoes tell it all. Well Miss Home Wrecker had on Christians Louboutins, I know those red soles anywhere. In my head I am thinking “well she must be a Gold Digger then.” My girlfriend refuses to engage in conversation with this young lady, but because I am the curios person that I am we began to engage in conversation. As we talk I find out that she is an entertainment attorney and from the looks of the shoes and handbag, she is doing pretty WELL, very well versed and if we hadn’t met under these exact circumstance I could see us going out for drinks and hitting the club scene together. Now ‘Slap me around and Call me Susie’ because now I am having a Real live  AHA moment as Oprah Winfrey would say.

Is this the “other” woman? Is this what she looks like and how she carries herself? I assumed she would be a mess, not have her stuff together, a Hoodrat, a Scally Wag, cheap Bag , cheap shoes, a cheap weave and a $10 outfit, something that no one could ever take home to their mother and here is this Fly Ass EDUCATED Chick , whom is obviously in a Relationship with this VERY Married man and she has no qualms about it. OH EMMM GHEEEE, this is the other woman!

As women of color, we often assume that we are the cream of the crop if we are educated, have our home life in order and bring home a decent paycheck every week. If we are in a relationship, we assume that if our mate steps out on us, it has to be with someone whom is socially and economically beneath us. Who else would deal with someone else’s husband?  As women of color we have to realize our dating pool is quite slim, especially if we have standards and because of this a lot of women can and will deal with some one else’s husband and often it is not just for an evening, a lot of times these are long term courtships. I once heard one mistress describe it as “all of the PERKS with Minimal WORK because Men court their mistresses and Love their wives.”

So as women what can we do? A part of me wanted to say nothing can be done because I believe the next woman doesn’t owe you anything especially if the man isn’t married. But because men often say they cheat for a reason I will give women some advice which address the most common reasons married men say they cheat.  

1. Other Women make it Easy!!!! So as women we must Hold ourselves to a higher moral scrutiny, if a man is in any phase of the Marriage Plan he is off limits. Engaged, Married, or Separated.  All are OFF LIMITIS!!!! Now the boyfriend/girlfriend thing, NOT SOOO MUCH, a lot of women believe he is fair GAME and if he wanted to Marry his main chick he would have already asked or they would be married currently.
2. She thinks she is the best I am ever going to get. So as women we have to stop being so critical of the Other Woman, don’t assume that “the other woman” is beneath you and you are better, because the biggest mistake a person can ever make against any adversary is underestimating their opponent. The same things you see in him she will see in him and the same way he got you, he can get someone else.
3. She doesn’t Respect me. Stop emasculating Our MEN, allow them to be the men of our Households and we need to understand what it means to be someone’s wife. Often time because we as women make more money and have seen our mothers make it through the day to day struggles as single parents, we were never taught how to allow a man to be a MAN. Trust the other Woman is allowing him to be “A MAN” and often that is exactly what he is seeking.
4. She won’t Give Me Sex Stop using Sex as a bartering Tool, it is not a means for negotiations or getting your way. If you love this man the way you say you do unless he is already cheating, just give him some. Because if you don’t, The other most certainly, WILL.  
5. She won’t Shut UP. We have to learn how to communicate without nagging.  Often times communication is lost in relationships and a lot of men feel like they can not talk to their mates without “Getting Into IT” so they lie. Little Lies become even bigger lies. Allow him to go out with the boys without giving him the 3^rd degree. Let him have his “Me Time” if that is what he needs and allow him to do this without recourse as long as he does it in a respectful manner. If you are his best friend at home and he can talk to you about anything, he won’t need to seek comfort and a listening ear from some one else. Trust the Other Woman will LISTEN.

Now in no way am I condoning cheating or am I saying a cheating man is a woman’s fault, quite the contrary I think cheating is wrong. The tips above can work in any relationship whether the person is cheating or not. These however are the excuses that men give for cheating and I wanted to address them. I believe anyone who makes a commitment in any shape, form, or fashion needs to hold true to that commitment. As women however, we have to realize if we have an All out Dog on our hands or do we have a man whom is simply seeking comfort else where? If we have a good man, and he cheats there is a strong possibility that his “side chick” is a lot like you. She is educated, well versed and probably has all her ducks in a row. Instead of bashing her, comparing her to yourself, wondering what she looks like and blaming her for what YOUR Mate is doing. Lets Put Blame where Blame is due, because in all reality she owes you absolutely nothing. The same thing you saw in that man, she saw in that man, and you and she probably have more in common than you think. She just is not allowing the fact that he is involved stand in her way. Right or Wrong, that is up for debate but here is something that is not. Your Mate is the Real Enemy as he is the one who made a commitment to you and he is the one who stepped out on his commitment. Ladies this is where your focus needs to be. Let Stop asking ourselves about the other woman and wondering “Who is SHE?”

IS 35 and Single the NEW DESPERATE!!!!

 So I decide to meet my sistergirlfriend (this is a girlfriend who is more like a Sister)  for drinks after work the other day and we are chatting it up, talking about everything under the sun as we often do whenever we get together, those of you who know me personally know I can talk a Million miles a minute. What can I say I have a gift for GAB and talking is definitely on of my strong suits!!! So the conversation turns to dating and what is going in my life. I tell her everything is good, I have a new beau and I think this is it. if you read my Facebook page I said my next boyfriend wouldn’t be my ex boyfriend and I meant it. We go into the how we met and how I am not getting any younger, have a kid already but would like to be married in the next few years, yada yada yada blahzay blah. My sistergirlfriend is happily married and when I say happy, I mean happy!!! I personally see how well her and her husband mesh and I think it is a beautiful thing so I often go to her when I have man issues and or need advice on how to curb this mouth of mine. Yes my mouth is vicious and I am well aware of it. I am learning how to curb it JUST A TAD, because I don’t want to send this one running for the hills, but I also know my mouth and my tone is a great part of who I am so I will not change it, just simply learning how not to say all the crazy mess that runs through this head of mine. All of you who know me and have been on my Facebook page know I can say some flat out Outlandish things. Well that is who I am 24/7, no Facebook stuntin and Fronting over here. We all know facebook can be a Stunters Paradise. Anywho, So I am talking to my sister/girlfriend and she asks about one of my other sister/girlfriends and I tell her that she is about to get married this June and how the wedding is right around the corner. She begins to tell me how all of her friends are either planning weddings or just got married in the last few months and they are all either 35 or a little bit older. So I say to her “WOW!! That is great!!! I can tell all my friends that there are still some viable brothers out there and despite what statistics show, its not completely hopeless if you are not married by 35. Well once we go into the nonsense of it all, and I mean complete utter nonsense.

I say a silent prayer:

“Lord these WOMEN done lost there freakin marbles!!! Completely Ape Shit if you ask me!! If I am not married by 35, Please don’t let me fall into desperation where I am willing to just marry whatever the cat done dragged in the freakin door.”  

I know we all say we can’t help who we love, yeah we can’t, but Damn it, we can atleast help who in the hell we meet. Now let me add, all of these women are successful beautiful black women, a few could use a nice weave and some hair tips but for the most part they are not the bottom of the barrel. They own homes, drive nice cars and appear to have there ducks in a row. I say appear only because these are not my friends I have met them only once or twice in passing and for all I know they can be NUTTY AS HELL!!! And based on where this story is going they may just be NUTTY AS HELL!

 So here is the rundown.

One woman’s husband was living in his mothers basement with no car and no job when they met and his ass still doesn’t have a car or a job now that they are married and here is the kicker, he is 37 and wants to rap, yes I said it RAP. I don’t even have words for this scenario. All I want to know is how in the hell did these two people meet and how do you even give this guy your number. Did he rap you out of your drawers? Is the sex that damn good? I have never and I say never had sex so good that it would allow me to allow a grown ass aspiring rapping man, who lives in his mamas basement with no job to be my damn husband. GTFOH.

Another woman's fiance used to be a pimp, I mean a real live “Hoe better have my money or I’m a slap the taste out ya mouth!” convicted pimp. Not only are you about to marry a convict but we are talking reformed pimp, who by the way still dresses like a damn PIMP!! Can we say GTFOH again!!! Once again, how did these two people even meet?

Another woman met her husband on Craigslist. Damn, has she not heard of the damn Craiglist killer? I didn’t even know Craiglist had men up there. Couches and televisions? YES!!! I even knew they had female escorts, but never in a million years did I think of Craigslist as a dating site. I could understand it more if it was match.com or even Facebook, but Craigslist?!?! Do they even have pictures up there? Can you even see what the person looks like? Atleast with FB, you probably know someone, whom actually knows this person, but Craigslist, GTFOH again!!!

The last womans fiance is GAY. I mean flaming with fingerwaves, gay. Not metrosexual because I know the difference and it was flatout obvious when I met this man the one time I met him, this man is flatout GAY!! Didn’t I warn you this was Apeshit Nutty!!!

As women I think that we need to realize that we all have to have standards and just because we get a little older and our biological clocks start ticking that does not mean we should throw all caution to the wind and marry the first man that wants to marry us. Of course the men above want to marry you,  if I was a 37 year old rapper with no real job who lived in my mama’s basement and I didn’t have a car, I’d marry you and I don’t even like girls, lol.  Seriously I know that we can not choose who we love and this is not to say these women are not in love and these men don’t treat them like the queens that they are. I do not know because as I stated these are not my friends. All my girlfriends know I am the first to call a damn Intervention and this is definitely one of those moments when they would get one. I can understand lowering your standards if you have a list five pages long like Chilli from TLC, but when did reformed pimp and gay man become a part of the dating pool?  Standards are there for a reason and there is no need to drop yours. 35 or not, biological clock ticking or not, the possibilities are still endless. Often we hear women say I never meet anybody or there is no one out here to date. There are plenty, you better get up, get out, and get something!!!

As my good deed for today, I will try to tell you how to meet men, I am no expert but I know the guys listed above can not be all that is out there. I hope and pray that is not ALL!!! Father God please let this not be it!!!  Here we go.

1. Fix yourself up.

Ladies appearance is key, I can tell you something all these women have in common, there hair is either always a mess or two seconds from a mess. This is not a good look. How are you going to find a man if your hair isn’t done half the damn time? He doesn’t want to look at that. I always say as long as the hair is done and the lip gloss is poppin everything else is fine. This includes running to the store, I don’t care if you have on sweats and a t shirt a man can see past all of that as long as that hair is done. And most importantly you need to leave your head rags of all sorts at home; this includes scarves, pretty scarves, silk scarves, and Gucci scarves. Leave them all home!!!  If you want to go out with it wrapped up (doobie style) then do so, but that scarf is definite NO NO!!! And don’t ask why some women can get away with it but you can’t. She can do it because her ass got a man at home!!! YOU DON’T.

2. Fly Solo 

I can not stand a woman that needs company everywhere she goes. Venture out on your own if you are trying to meet someone. It is easier for a man to approach you when you are by yourself. This includes going grocery shopping, running errands, and even going out to happy hour. If you must go out clubbing you do not need a whole entourage of girlfriend, what are you girls a damn singing group. Well guess what even Diana Ross had to go solo.  This means you plus one more is just fine. Here is my point you and 3 of your girlfriends are always out as a foursome, you have a 25% chance of a guy approaching you versus the other 3. If you leave 2 of them home and just take one, now you have a 50% chance. If you leave all of them home, you now have even better odds. Go out by your damn self and enjoy your evening, it really isn’t as hard as it seems.

3. Venture Out

You are not going to meet a man hanging in the house all day, your single so obviously there is no man in your house. You need to go out, and I mean A LOT. You should be out atleast twice a week especially if you do not have children, and not out to dinner with your lonely ass non hair do having girlfriends, I mean out where there will be MEN. That means a club or a bar and not an empty ass “shi shi fu fu bar.” A group of single black men are not going to be at Legal Seafood on a Friday night, they just aren’t. That is some story book bullshit. That is were you go after you have a man and truly just want to hang with your girls, not were you go when you are looking TO MEET SOMEONE. Stop being so damn bourgeois. Bourgeois broads kill me! Take your ass down to a decent establishment in the HOOD!!!  That is where the brothers are at, it will be some Pookie’s (undesireables) there but there will be more working men there than a little bit, trust I know. And do not fall for the first Pookie you meet, I think that is what happened with the sister’s above. Date and choose the one you want, do not allow a man to choose you.

I say all of this to say that we do not have to lower our standards just because we get a little older. With age comes a certain level of maturity and wisdom that I believe can only be achieved after you have lived a certain period of your life. With this maturity should come a certain sense of entitlement.  We are all entitled to have whatever we desire as women especially when it comes to a husband and family. I also want to live like the Cosby’s, but if this mean accepting bullshit and lowerig my standards just because I am a little older and single, I stand by my convictions when I say I will do no such thing. 

 Live, Laugh, and LOVE and most importantly remember who you are and what you are worth!

I am in an OPEN Relationship!!! Sharing is CARING!!!

Ok sooo here we go with this open relationship business again and my opinion of what it means. Open Relationships to me simply means full disclosure and honesty (I am in a monogamous relationship and need to make this clear before he go Charlie Sheen on my Ass), lol, but it is open meaning we talk about and discuss EVERYTHING!!! If I did it, he knows it, I refuse to allow him to hear it through the grapevine or allow someone else to tell MY STORY!!! I told an 11 year old girl yesterday about telling her story 1st, she didn't get it but I am hoping one day she will remember that moment and understand exactly what that means.
People often assume open relationships mean everybody is able to have sex with whomever they please and nobody cares!!! If you and your mate make a commitment in whatever form, you should stick to it and be honest about it, let me make that clear. Whether it’s monogamous, swinging or dabbing in same sex relations (I am looking at YOU, cuz a lot of you dib and dab!!!), you should be able to tell your mate before the fact, NOT AFTER!!! If you can not tell your mate about it, then that is cheating and that is a BIG NO NO!!! I do not condone dishonesty, lying or CHEATING!!!
Let me back track a bit. I came to believe in the term open relationship, because I believe that often labels in relationships force people to be monogamous when they often have no desire to be; they only get into relationships out of selfishness and greed and because they don't want to see the other party with anyone else. That is the wrong reason to do it. I think that prior to a committed relationship there should be a degree of monoganimity (made this word up) and openness, where each party is free to do whatever or whomever they want and they should make a conscious decision not to because it is truly what it is that they want to do.  In order for me to be with you, you are going to be monogamous before we put a label on it, because that is truly what it is that you and I WANT to do. Not we screw everybody else have a talk and need to clean our houses up after the fact, the damn house should already be clean. I’m just saying. Now that is my opinion.
Now let’s talk about the general opinion of those around us. Each sex tends to view this a little differently, especially if they are speaking of the Open part meaning having sex with other individuals besides their mate and I thought to myself why is this?
Fellas, Fellas, Fellas!!!  You will have no qualms about having an open relationship on your end only. You will screw around and do the do and make sure their mate weren't the wiser but the minute the mate says lets make this thing open or let’s see other people, you will KNOCK HER HEAD CLEAN OFF, SO she better DUCK!!!! See this is when I mean, a man doesn’t necessary want to be monogamous, he just doesn’t want to take the chance at potentially having to share. A man assumes if you are screwing a guy, you must have feelings for this guy and rightfully so because for most women sex is filled with emotions. If a woman can separate the two a man assumes she is a loose Booty and that is not what that means. She can act like a lady and think like a MAN as Steve Harvey said (I think he said it, well I hope he said it or I just gave him credit where it isn’t due, oh well one up for that brother).
Now we Ladies have a hang up when it comes to open relationships because we are emotional creatures and often equate the act of sex with LOVE!!! Men equate the act of sex with SEX!!! BIG DIFFERENCE! Women assume that if a man can have sex with another woman then he must like her or she must have something that their partner does not. No chica its new Booty, nothing more nothing less, so get over it!!! You know some women KILL ME!! Pretending like they never had sex with a guy and they weren't just New BOOTY!!! Every guy that screwed you, did not LOVE YOU and some of them probably didn't even LIKE you so TRUST and believe a GUY can have sex with a CHICK and NOT LIKE HER!!! Just want some NEW BOOTY!!! Geesh. (Glad I got that off my CHEST, been dying to say this since forever).
So this is where the dishonesty factor comes in and how we kill the openness of the relationship tht should initially be there. Women start lying about their past and men often lie about their present. A person will only be as honest as you allow them to be in a relationship and nobody wants you looking at them with the ILK BBM Face when they are being honest. Fellas if you ask your girl if she kissed a girl before and she says yes, don’t be acting like it is soo strange when you own 100 porno tapes of girls doing God know what with other girls. GTFOH!!! And ladies if your man say he want to go to the go go bar, don’t be all hossididy and ask him why he always going there, he is going because he want to see some ASS that isn’t your ASS!! DUH!!! That is his new Booty, let him have it.

All I am saying is allow him to tell you the truth and he needs  to allow you to do the same. I hope that you all dare to venture into Open Territory. Be honest, be truthful and most inportantly BE YOURSELF and not just who or what your mate wants you to be!!! I wish you all the best in Life and LOVE!!!!

Hello Beautiful People!!!

So this whole Blog all Started from what I called the FB Oprah Show, which is in no relation to Oprah Winfrey, I do not know her, I am broke and I don't need her suing me. She won't get my Mazda 626 with the paint missing off the bumper, that is me and MissKhloe (my daughter) get away car!! The FB Oprah Show was a daily talkshow I started on FaceBook in which I would post random questions and ask my FaceBook Family to respond and tell me what they thought about a specific topic. A young lady suggested we do this over drinks and I said hey, why don't I just Blog about it also and see where this journey called the FB Oprah Show takes me, its a lot of fun and I swear my friends say the darndest things. They are HEEELARRYOUS!!!  Plus, if it doesn't work I have nothing to lose because blogging is Free and if Oprah decides to sue me, I have nothing, sooooo nothing from nothing gives u WHAT?!?!?! A Big fat NOTHING!!! Now make that one of YOUR FAVORITE things Miss Oprah!!! JK, I love me some Oprah!!
Stay Tuned!!! And if no one responds I will just post highlights from the FB Oprah Show from FB because FB is free tooo!!!! And I am all about THE FREEE!!!! I am looking forward to everyone participating, signing in and telling me how they really feel. I need to know who is willing to participate, your job may be tracking FB, but they damn fo sure ain't gonna track this little ole Blog!!! Now back 2 ur Reg Sched program!!!