I AIN'T Saying you a GOLD DIgger!!! Well F*ck It, YES I AM!!!!

So I am out running in the park with a girlfriend of mine, well maybe it was more like a light jog, OK OK OK I’m a keep it Real cuz I love yall, I am lying I was power walking and sometimes it became a light stroll and other times it became a sit on the bench, lol. If you know me u know I am not running a damn place unless I got to pee really bad!!! SO we are getting our walk on and having a normal convo, how is the kid doing? How is work? What has been going on? You know the regular blahzay blah. So eventually the conversation turns to why she THINKS she can not find someone to be with and how time is a ticking because she is about to be 36. Not sure why but my everyday conversations always turn to the Why somebody can’t find a man convo? I don’t mind it, it gives me stuff to write about later and I try to be honest but sometimes my home girls make me just want to shake em. I mean a hard ass shake, the type of shake I give a baby bottle when the cereal is stuck to the bottom and just won’t quite mix with the damn milk or the kinda shake you give the shake and pour pancake mix. SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE!!!! That is why I write these blogs, so I don’t go to jail for shaking the SHIT out of one of my home girls or one of their simple ass friends. I am only 27 years old and I can not understand some of the simple mess that come out of some people mouths or how in the hell they can not see what I can see. Maybe it is because I had my run and know what the hell a bad relationship looks like, or maybe because I have been the side chick and I was called a “gold digger” once upon a time in a galaxy far far away, lol (I put the quotes around gold digger because most men have nothing but dirt and lint in their pockets, and I was being called a damn gold digger based on assumption, I have heard I give off gold digger vibes, whatever the hell that means?!? JK, I know what it means and I’m guilty).

Anyway back to my home girl, according to her it seems that whenever she meets a guy she likes he isn’t that into her or she finds out he has a girlfriend at home or if he is into her something is always missing, she is either not physically attracted to him, he is too corny or the date is whack. So I listen to her and  I wanted to break this down to her and tried to put it in the simplest terms, I mean DUR, DUR, WE TAW DID terms, but even after my whole damn spiel all the way around the park it still didn’t click. I guess she didn’t really want me to answer the question honestly. I tried explaining to her that the reason why the guys with the woman at home dates are better and not so corny and they have so much Swag already is because he has an established home life with a two income household so he obviously has more play money, his chick has play money too, but she is probably taking hers and buying Gucci bags while he is taking his and taking his side chick to 5 star restaurants. He has Swag because his girlfriend has refined him already, she done cleaned him up and probably showed him the five star restaurant you two are currently at. Yes ladies we refine MEN all the time, we are not talking a complete overhaul, just a little tune up. CAN I GET A AMEN!!!! The guy with nobody and whom is actually single can not afford to take you there and if he can it won’t be regularly, because he isn’t there yet, he has a one income household and usually when a guy is single and has no real responsibilities he will take his extra money and buy a damn 50 inch flat screen television; he is not tricking off on a brand new broad. He is not really that worried about impressing you at this stage in the game and is trying to get to know you.  So what is wrong with a simple meet and greet at happy hour? Absolutely NOTHING!!!! She says to me that she doesn’t understand why she can not have it all. I ask her rhetorically when she says all, what exactly does she mean? I already know what she means, she means the balling lifestyle, the money and the cars the 5 star restaurants and shopping sprees all courtesy of Mr. Right. I explain to her that she can have it all, if she is willing to get there with the guy whom doesn’t necessarily have it all right now, u and the right guy have the potential to build and grow together. Well she gave me the BBM confused/ Scooby Doo face. Like I had two heads or something, I had to look around and make sure Big Foot wasn’t behind me or even worst a fake Ass gang member trying to rob me, she standing there looking all stupid for no Damn Reason. I mean complete silence like I was speaking a foreign language. The conversation quickly flipped to her new purse. That initial conversation reminded me of something I saw on a Facebook Friends Status, it was on his page about a week ago. So once I get home, I go to Facebook and I pull up his page and scroll back through his statuses to refresh my memory of exactly what he wrote, it’s a little vulgar and it can sting to read but it makes sense.

MrSarcasticRahRah wrote

“Men love Pussy, but we do not marry Pussy. A man may show Pussy off to his friends. He might buy Pussy gifts. Occasionally Pussy gets to come out of the house and get treated to dinner. Pussy even gets pregnant and become the baby mama. But he never ever marries Pussy. All men see women as Pussy initially, but after a few conversations we can decide if she worth more.”

After listening to my homegirl I realized that she is simply (that P word) to the men she meets or at least that is how she portrays herself and after the initial conversation they see straight through her because she has major gold digger vibes and by the end of the night they probably realize that she is looking to make the come up. A far as the guys she meets, when she shows up with those vibes seeping through her pores, a guy with somebody can sense it and she becomes his target because she can in a way be bought. I hate to refer to another woman in this way but it is the damn truth and as harsh as it may sound and as blunt as it may be, any woman looking for instant gratification and with this particular mindset will be instantly gratified and demeaned and thought of as “just (that word)”.

You are looking for everything in one shot and he knows it. He may not say it out loud but trust he may definitely be thinking it. Sweetie pies of the world let me break it down to you, it is not because you got there too late and the wife or girlfriend beat you in the race, honey it is because that man sees you as simply (that word) and knows you are about that cash. If you like it, I love it!!! He can spot you a mile away and can pick you out of a room of 30 women. He knows what you are into and that you aren’t going to really be checking for the signs to make sure he is single because you are going to be WOWed by dinner, nice trips and designer trinkets.

Now PLEASE do not see this as me knocking any chicks hustle. I have hustle in my blood, been working since I was 2, lol, and can respect what anyone does. I can respect it because I do not know where they have been on this journey called life and exactly why they have made the choices they have made. I even respect the strippers and the hookers and the gold diggers. I do not knock a paid hoe or stripper and her hustle!!! Now a broke Hoe or a FAT ASS Stripper, I will knock all day, cuz if you are going to do it, you damn for sure better do it well! And lets not have it as a hobby, lets make it a damn profession and get paid for it. I’m Just Saying!!!

 I will not knock a good Gold Digging Chick who is actually making it happen. If you are going to dig for gold don’t just come up with a Lump of Coal or end up with a loser from the 35 and single blog when u can’t find anymore GOLD to dig for!!! Sidebar, a lot of people were knocking the men in the 35 and Single Blog, only a few commented but over 500 of you read it, yeah you don’t have that exact scenario going on because those were a little extreme BUT your story isn’t that far off, please wake up and get a DAMN Clue!!  NOW as I was saying, Contrary to what one may believe the good gold diggers actually have their own and usually have there shit together. These are the gold diggers with longevity, Kim Zolciak comes to mind!!! That is a good ass gold digger!!! She is educated and I am sure she has good if not great credit, she owns a home and when big Poppa bought her a CAR he bought the WHOLE damn car!!! Not LEASED and NOT FINANCED, but  the whole car. No car note for that gold Digger!! Now ThAT is a Good Ass Gold Digger!! We can talk about her self esteem, the fact that he is married, how she feels the next day and that God awful wig, ALL DAMN DAY, but right now we are talking about her making it happen. Now the problem with a lot of women is we need to realize this is the exception not the NORM!!!  Some of us have it TWISTED!!!

To all my women waiting like my homegirl above, I am sorry Sunshine, but Big Poppa or the NBA Player is not going to come whisk your 35 year old ass off into the sunset. It is some young girls out there whom have bodies to die for!!! I am talking Kimmy K and Amber Rose bodies!! Yeah they out there and they are not playing, they got some tricks up their sleeves and what they may lack in age in wisdom, to most men they make up for it in hotness and FLEXIBILITY! I am trying to figure out what the hell is in the MILK these days and how can I get a cup, lol!!! Now the NBA Player may go get HER, but your old ass, hmmmm not so much. You keep looking for the come Up, you will find yourself by yourself. After a certain age your gold digging abilities really take a down fall right along with your boobs, lol!! It’s called Gravity!! Some of us need to realize after a certain age and after you reach a certain point in your life we are too old to still be gold digging. When we were younger it was a little bit more acceptable, but after u hit 30, or even 35 for those of you whom couldn’t come off the porch until you were 25, it is time to hang up your gold digging shoes and let the young girls have them. The guy who appears to not be able to WOW you and Corny may be a diamond in the rough. Now when I say a diamond in the “rough,” I am not talking about the guys from the 35 and Single blog, they are freaking Diamonoids (fake Diamonds)!!! I am talking about the guy who is hard working, has his own things going on and the majority of his ducks in a row, believes in furniture (I am just saying some men do not believe furniture is a necessity), knows what it means to be the man of a household but just need a little exposure and refinement and maybe a little help when it comes to certain things. Not major things, like living with your mama, or being a old ass rapper, but small things, like how to choose a great restaurant.

I say all of this to say, if you are making a conscious decision to start seeking long term companionship and you know that you have been of or about a certain mind frame (money) and if you want to find someone and be in a relationship worth having, you have to let that mindset go!! A man that wants to be with you and a man worth having will see straight through all of that and show you what it is to have longterm financial goals vs short term spend money fast ones.  

I think some women, my homegirl included, need to really evaluate what is important in todays world and what they truly want out of life because a lot of women are living the life and getting the trinkets: jewelry, pocketbooks, a few grand and maybe even a fur coat or two. But none of them are really getting it like they believe they have the potential to get it. Especially after a certain age, some of yall, my homegirl included, been reading too many of those Hood Novels if you ask me. Guys buying boats and whole apartment buildings, GTFOH, I am not saying it doesn’t happen, but Really lets be for real here, its not going to happen to my homegirl and it probably won’t happen to you. She should have went on that venture at 22, not 36.

Now I am not saying my homegirl is a mess, quite the contrary, she just got reality a little warped. She is used to men doing things for her and now that she is looking for a man of her own, she needs to be brought down to reality. She has certain expectations of a man and it is nothing wrong with that, I believe if you are with a man and or dating a man, he definitely should do things for you. Now MAMA didn’t raise no fool. IJS, we need to let go of the fairytale and come on down to reality!!! Live laugh and LOVE!!!!