TEAM MAMA JONES!!! I have no respect for Chrissy anymore!!

OKKK Folks!! I know you all saw “Hip Hop Wives” this weekend and if you did not it doesn’t matter because I will spell it out for you. I watch a WOMAN propose to a MAN on National TV. I literally am DEAD Over HERE!!!

DEAD!!!! DEAD!!! ___________________ (BEEEEP) No Pulse, NO HEARTBEAT I am DEAD!!!

Call      Whighams        NOW!!!!

Now before any of you Females decide that this BS is OK, I am  going to set All yall Asses Straight, including Chrissy’s Ass Backwards ASS!!! Proposing to a MAN is Never OK!!! I don’t care how you slice it, dice it or pureee it!! It is NOT and I REPEAT!!! NOT OKAY!!! Do not let anyone convince u other wise. If you do this you will forever be a FORD!!! So because all of my anger is directed at Miss Chrissy in particular I will write her a letter, feel free to deliver it!!!

And Remember this is SPARTA BITCHES!!! I have no problem kicking a Bitch Down a Deep Dark HOLE where SHE BELONGS!!! And TRUST Chrissy Definitely Belongs!!!

Dear Chrissy,

I understand that this is your life and all, I can respect anybody’s hustle. The fact that you don’t work doesn’t bother me one bit!!! Do you Mama!!! At the beginning of the show I had some respect for you. I mean your from the hood and we have a few mutual acquaintances so I have heard your name before this whole Hip Hop Wives thing. They said you could dress your ass off. Heard a few people say we had similar swag. You know how that hood stuff go. It is what it is, I never met you so who knows. I know we don’t look alike so that is that. I am not here to judge you based on looks or swag. I think you’re a pretty lady, but who cares. My homegirl said you dress better on the streets than you do on the show, so I won’t even bring that up. I could but I won’t. You done got your own show out the deal and your doing you!!! Go Chrissy.

Well my, my, my with all the respect I had for you, you just Fucked it up big time!!! I REALLY REALLY need to know what the Hell possessed you to propose to a MAN on national TV!!! What in Gods Name made you do that?!?! Hunh?!?! HUNH?!?! Answer me please!!!

I think your exact words was “Yall can wait around but I’m a go for MINES!!!” Well Honey Bunny I think that line refers to jobs, new career paths and being a take charge kind of woman in that sense. Is it because you don’t work that you got this utterly confused and thought it was in reference to PROPOSING TO A DAMN MAN!!! You got the game Fucked UP!!! On top of that he didn’t even say yes!! He said I’m with YOU!! The when you gave him that fake ass ultimatum he told you when you leave “Don’t forget to take the dog with you” HUNH!!! Are you really this dumb in real life. I think you only got the response you got because he just didn’t want to embarrass your ass because he does love you. He says it all the time, so I believe it. Unlike those delusional ass girlfriends of yours who probably told you this BS was OK!!! Uhm Hmm that Olivia and that damn Emily. Can u say WETAWDID and Dumb as HELL!!!

Well lets start with Olivia, she lives in Delusion City and let me tell you why. She had a boyfriend that wasn’t her boyfriend!! CTFU!! Uhm Red Flag, you are not supposed to listen to anything she has to say. I wouldn’t let her give relationship advice to a toad let alone a human being. PLUS, not only was she going to let you Propose to a MAN, she was gonna let you do it DRESSED like a Streetwalker in a room full of people which included HIS MAMA!!! As hood as Mama Jones may be, she is still his MAMA!!! Why would you propose to anybody in a room full of people in your drawers!!! LMAOOO!!! HEEELLLOOO!!!! That Olivia is not your friend I advise to RUN!!! And I mean FAST, I always say there are 2 types of Nutty and Olivia is definitely one of them. My girlfriend said she really a man, but I have no proof, LOL!!

Now Emily, poor Emily she is about as bright as a box of rocks. She think she is in a relationship with Fabolous. Clearly she isn’t. He don’t pick up the phone and don’t show up for family photos. Sorry boo that is not your man and it has nothing to do with being a rapper or the rapping lifestyle. He AIN”T CLAIMING YO ASS!!! Like I said straight delusional. Apparently she is the other type of Nutty in 2 types of Nutty and You need to run from her Nutty ass TOO!!! LOL

So Chrissy di I have right to be upset with you? Yes and here is why. I feel like you done set back women 5 billion years with this bullshit ass proposal. If you want to be a fool, do it in the privacy of your own home, but u know why you did it on National TV because you know if it was just you and him you would have got your damn feelings hurt. I think he would have dissed you, real talk!! Cuz even in front of all those people he never said yes. So just imagine what his reaction would have been in the privacy of your own home!!! You did it in order to put him on the Spot and didn’t tell Mama Jones because she would have told Jimmy and he probably would have pulled the same stunt FAB pulled on Emily the Dumb Ass. NOT SHOW UP!!! You knew why you did it that way and don’t pretend you don’t.  Now like I said you can do what you want with your life, but don’t put dumb ISH on display for all of us to see. If you want to be a Fool than go ahead but don’t set that as the precedent and having nuccas thinking some other chick should follow. The sad part is it’s a dumb ass running around here setting up a proposal as we speak cuz she watched your dumb ass last night. You gonna have men thinking its ok for women to propose to them, we already got enough BS jacking up the black family structure, now you done propose to a damn man on national TV!! Like Really Chrissy, Really?!?! How oh HOW did you ever lose you Maybach Bitch Mentality. The streets was giving you your props, and then u pull THIS!!!

This was a desperate Chick Move, straight Sahara Desert THIRSTY!!! I hope Jimmy do marry you because after this stunt U will forever and Always be WASHED UP!!! Your engaged with NO RING!!! WTF!!  Dummy take ya ring back and have him buy you one!!!

Sincerely,

MrsSuicide –Now Go Kill Ya Self!!!  

P.S. I hope David Tutera wasn’t watching, u probably gave that man a Damn Heart Attack!!

P.S.S. oh and I am Team MAMA JONES NOW!!! Eventho she got crackhead tendencies, I gotta choose her over any fool that proposes to a DAMN MAN!! SMH Again!!

Bitch That Aint YO MAN!!! GET A GRIP!!!

Ok so I had an interesting week to say the least!!! A few topics came up for the blog and I said hmmm where do I begin. Now let me say this, this topic right here is not for the faint of heart. If you got issues with folks cheating or screwing around, this BLOG is NOT FOR YOU!!!! This Blog is for the Sidechicks and some of it applies to women looking for love in all the wrong places, so I will try to address both. I know yall gonna want me to say being a side chick is wrong or if you a Side Chick you must have low Self Esteem, blah blah Blah!!! Well this AIN’T THAT BLOG!!! Cuz all side chicks ain’t depressed and some of them some Bad Bitches!! If you think I’m lying, take a look at the photo above….. hmmm need I say more!!! I been there before And OMG I am not the devil, I am just willing to admit it and hopefully I can teach the next young lady a thing or 2, so don’t crucify me. If you are going to crucify me atleast buy me a DRINK first, lol. I know yall want me to tell the sidechick Not to do it!! Thats just like telling a teenager not to have sex, they are going to do it anyway, so allow me to give the Sidechicks of the World some tools not to be stupid. Trust this is beneficial to the women in relationships as well, because if the Side Chicks aren't as Dumb, men wouldn't have as many options. Most of them can't afford a side chick with some damn sense. 

So here we go, a friend of mine inboxed me and said I need you to write about  woman with low self esteem allowing men to just run all over them. She knows two chicks dating the same man and they both know about each other. She knows another chick who is dealing with a man that lives with another woman, which has been going on for a year. Then she knows another woman who was with a man for 10 years and he left her with 2 kids and married another woman. And now he's cheating on his wife with the previous chick.  Woah NELLY!!! This was a lot to take in. She implied that they must have low self esteem. I advised her not necessarily LOW SELF Esteem, these Hoes may JUST be  DUMB!!! I would need to know more about the particulars of the Situation in order to truly know if they dumb, have low self esteem, or IF they JUST BUTT UGLY!!! LOL, I really don’t know!!

In the same week another homey of mine asked me if she was considered single if she was seeing a man that wasn’t hers. Now let me start here, because I think a lot of women get it twisted when dating someone else man. Married, engaged, seperated, somebody boyfriend, All the scenarios above!!! HE AIN’T YOURS!!! So to even ask me this sounds crazy, OF COURSE YOUR ASS IS Single, there is nothing committed about your relationship, HE GOT A CHICK/GIRL/WIFE/WIFEY!! That ain’t your MAN!! Now do I see anything wrong with someone seeing some one else’s man, if they just boyfriend and girlfriend, uhm NOPE not really (notice I didn’t say wife because I respect the sanctity of marriage, thanks My Princy) unless yall related or friends or have close mutual friends, then that’s a problem!!! You don’t want an all out Jerry Springer moment going down cuz ya sleeping with your BFF man!! OH HELL NO, You deserve to get yo ass beat!! But as I always said and always will say the Next bitch don’t owe me or YOU a DAMN THING. Now if it’s my Man and you’re screwing him, HELL YEA, it’s a problem!!! She don’t owe me anything, but he does!! I take up all issues with the real culprit, HIM!!  Biased YES, but hey that’s LIFE, everything ain’t meant to be fair. Get over it!!! It’s a black man shortage so the next hoe gonna come for yours and mine. Its like musical chairs, the most aggressive person wins, and when the music stops there is usually only one chair left!! The next bitch is coming for your seat!! It’s the reality of the situation, either ya got the seat on lock or you don’t!!  Now either way if you decide to play music chairs with another Chick and Her MAN, you Gotta KNOW IT’s RULES TO THIS SHIT!!! Or F*ck it, even if he don’t have a woman, if yall ain’t committed some of these rules STILL APPLY. Especially if he screwing you and “Keisha” and you want more and are looking for a relationship from this man and he knows it because you two had the talk already. Now if you are not looking for anything and your just single and ready to mingle, then DO YOU and take what you want out of what I have to say. Either Way its Still Rules to this Shit, you to old to be Young, Dumb and Full of C*M!!! (Excuse my language but if I say it politely some folks just don’t understand)!!

Here we go, put on your Mac Make Up and get Pretty, because it’s about to get REAL Ugly!! I told you if you can’t handle it then Stop READING!! This is SPARTA Damn IT and I plays no GAMES!! I will kick a Bitch down a Deep Dark Hole in a heartbeat!!

1. If you are not his girl, YOU ARE SINGLE!!! His purpose is to buy you trinkets and to keep the number of sexual encounters on your jacket low while you are exploring your other dating options. This applies if he got a girl. If he don’t have a girl and doesn’t want to commit, then the fact that you are single still applies.

That means date, date and date some more, I didn’t say sleep around I said DATE. Why the hell are you sitting in the house because a man that ain’t yours told you to or implied that you should. That’s like when u was little and the lady from down the street told you to put a coat on!!! First thing that came out of your mouth was “YOU AIN’T MY MAMA.”  How in the hell did you get dumber with AGE?!?! She wasn’t your mama and he ain’t your Man. Why are you staying in the house and in an exclusive relationship with somebody else’s boyfriend or a man that you are not with? Now that is just plain ole STUPID!!! You gonna allow this nucca to dictate what you do from a distance, should I call you STUPID again!!!  Let me guess u afraid he gonna leave you? You ain’t his to leave! Yall are not together.

2. If he is in a committed Relationship, He is not a good catch!!! He Cheats and he is CHEATING WITH YOU!!! Can you say Karma!!! If you guys are dating but he also has his fair share of hoodrats, scallywags and scoundrels ALL OVER and you are looking for a committed relationship and you guys have had THE TALK and nothing Happens, sorry Sunshine he is not a good CATCH EITHER!! Either he a HOE or U just ain’t the Girl For HIM!!  If a man wants to be with you he will, regardless of what else is going on is his life. So either way you lose.

Now do I believe once a cheater always a cheater, no I do not. I don’t believe just because he cheated on her, he will cheat on me, cuz the bottom line is that Bitch ain’t me!! She a Ford and I am a Maybach!!! I got a Maybach Bitch mentality!!! I’m Top of the line and she the Bottom of the Barrel!!! Shit, I would cheat on a damn Ford too, lol!!! But the bottom line is in this scenario, if he is in a committed relationship and if he is cheating on her with you and he leaves her, that is not a good thing!! That is KARMA and oh my, my, my!!! Karma is a bad Bitch, probably one of the baddest ones I know!!! 9 times out of 10 he ain’t going to leave because if that was the case he would have done it already, plus he already hitting it, so he not going anywhere. Your Goal here is not to make this guy your guy!!! HE CHEATS!!

Now if he is single and you are looking for a committed relationship and he giving you every reason in the world why he don’t want to be in one even though yall technically do everything relationships do. Yall screwing, yall over eachothers house every night and you cooking dinner.  DO NOT PASS GO!! DO NOT Collect $200, Keep IT MOVIN, because this is not the guy for you either, like I said before either he a hoe or he is not the guy for you. If after 6 months of constant dating and playing house, he don’t know what he wants to do, he is never going to know. More importantly after enough time has lapsed he knows who you are, he don’t need you around to figure out if he wants to be with you. Just Bounce!! He is not the prize, You ARE, you should not allow him to choose YOU, You make all the choices around here!! You the Maybach remember.

3. Now if he in a relationship and He said he is only still their because of the KIDS, He lying!!! Or if he single and He can’t be in a relationship because if his Babymother find out she is going to keep the KIDS away, HE LYING About that TOO!!!

WTH?!?! This is you getting too emotionally involved and allowing yourself to be Dickmatized!!! Oh yes it is a word!! This man done put it on you and now you just believe any ole crock of BS that he says. You just STUPID!!! This is a bold face flat out lie and any man that says he is involved and gives you the kids as a reason for why he is staying is a COWARD, with no backbone and is just telling you what the hell you need to hear so he can keep on hitting it!! That right this is ONE of the Lies men tell SOOO THEY can keep on HITTING IT!! Let me ask you this, What black man only stays because of the kids, Half of them don’t even claim or take care of the ones they got, Now we got black men just flat out staying in horrible relationships for they kids!! Really, like Really!!! You believe this crock of Bullshit!!  If you do, you stupid!!! I would rather you date the guy who tells you nothing is wrong with their relationship and he just wants to screw. No Harm No Foul!!! And More Importantly, WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE why he is there, once again HE DOES NOT HAVE MATE potential, he is a cheater!!

Now if he can’t be in a committed relationship because of his Baby mama and he telling you she is going to keep the kids away, he lying there too!! We live in NJ, a state with great custody laws. So either he being a Bitch about the situation, got warrants and can’t even step foot in the courthouse, his ass owe child support, he still want to be with his BabyMama or HE JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!! You figure it out.

4. No doing Wifely Duties when you got JumpOff or Boo Stats!! This applies to Side Chicks and if you a guy “Peoples” as they like to use in reference to the nice pretty girl they screwing and haven’t committed to!!

You cooking and letting that negro stay the night. For What?!?! He need to go lay up with his real girl or one of his hoodrats cuz u not beat. He needs to be wining and dining you, why are you allowing him to do anything but that. Laying up, cooking and stuff, GTFOH!!!  Uhm where is the room service or he need to invite you over and cook for you. If you are doing all of this and its somebody else dude, u just plain ole stupid, need I remind you he does not have mate potential, HE CHEATS!!! When you are dating somebody else man and ESPECIALLY somebody else man, those should be the best dates of your life!!! Why? Because it needs to cost him for you to be quiet!! Don’t be Dickmatized. I pity the fool. Once again you are not his girl, treat him like the TRICK that he is!  You are cooking, now he not even paying for a meal. Why are you showing him that you even know how to cook. When he ask you when are you going to cook your suppose to say “Can’t make Dinner, but I can Make Reservations!!” in your best Martha Stewart voice. Now if you guys are dating and in the dating stages it is okay to make him a plate every once in a blue, hey gotta show him your not going to burn the house completely down if you turn on the stove, lol. But you have to minimize it and remember you are the prize to be won here not the other way around so you don’t need to be cooking every night. It is not your responsibility to feed him, your not his mama and your not his chick either. Save those wifely duties for the man that you are going to be with and the one that wants to be with you.

I say all of this to say, life is to short for us to invest all our time, feelings and emotions  into Mr. Right Now, when we should be out there investing it in Mr.Right. Save your heart for a man who clearly deserves it!!! and make him work for it!! Shout out to MY Maybach Bitches (term of endearment, MY Blog MY RULES) with that Maybach Mentality!!! We are Winning (in my Charle Sheen voice)!!! I love You ALL!! Live, Laugh and Love and enjoy your weekend.

Shout OUT 2 MY Lonely Bitches(term of endearment my Blog My RULES)!!!

So I got up this morning and I already know I am going out with my bff since forever to night. Got the Kelly Bundy (short and tight) dress on Deck and I am ready to hit the scene. I called up a few of my single girlfriends and tried to convince them to come on out and they refuse. I SAID TO MYSELF, Self when you were single u was always out, hitting the scene solo if you felt like it. Not on the hunt, but def on the prowl. Happy hour after work, Dollar Wednesdays, the hood bars, Whatever!!! I hit the scene and I hit it frequently. What is going on here? How in the hell these young, single, no kid having heffas (In my post it’s a term of endearment, MY BLOG MY RULES) always in the HOUSE? I am trying to figure out what the hell they got in there. I been there and it ain’t no MAN in there, no Kids, maybe it’s a dog or a cat in there that is on its last leg and needs 24 hr care, because I have no clue why the hell these chicks never go out. Now the club scene ain’t for everybody, I personally can only do an actual club about once every 2 months. I prefer after work spots and if I do go somewhere, I prefer to be a comfy ass possible, still sexy but comfortable.  So this BLOG IS FOR ALL MY LONELY BITCHES (another term of endearment just for today)!! Get the HELL UP AND TAKE YOUR ASS THE HELL OUTSIDE!!! Nothing comes to a sleeper but a DREAM!! So wake ur ass up!!! Stripper Misuic Thursday was meant to enlighten and encourage you!!! No NO NO, I don’t want you to strip I want you to go outside. But first off let me clarify what it means to be a Lonely BITCH!!! Here is how you know if ur A LONELY BITCH!! And life is passing you BYE!!!

1. You always out with your girlfriend and her man> Bitch yo ass is LONELY!!! Why in God’s name do you feel the need to be the 3^rd wheel all the time. We are not in high school, we to damn old to be playing tag along. First of all the chick that is allowing u to tag along is a damn fool because that is breeding grounds for a Jerry Springer moment. That’s right this is how the bff and the man gets to humping around. Yall saw “Why did I get married?” She had a bestfriend that was a Lonely Bitch. Clearly if you go on a double date and you don’t have a DATE your Ass is Lonely.
2. You spend all of your free time worried about your dog or cat and your whole life is built around dog and cat activities. Call you up, you and the dog lying in the Bed, you and the dog going to the mall, you and the dog having dinner. Everything is about you and the DAMN dog. I start talking about my Kid or boyfriend and you chime in about the Damn Dog!!! Dogs are not kids and comparing your dog to my kid is borderline offensive. Now don’t get me wong I am all about the ANIMALS!!! GO PETA!!! But damn it, ur dog should not be your life, U a lonely BITCH!!! And if your dog is a female, yall 2 LONELY BITCHES!!!
3. Now here is one of the Big Ones. YOU A LONELY BITCH  If, you got all the answers to everybody relationship troubles and you don’t have a RELATIONSHIP!!! I don’t know none of yall cuz I stay clear of this type of lonely Bitch, won’t have me sitting on the couch eating Bon Bon’s with your lonely ass. You tryna make me lonely and fat at the same time!!! OH HELL NO!!! But seriously you are lonely because you are spending all of your free time minding everybody elses business instead of your own.
4. OKKK and this is how u know your ass is lonely with a side of EXTRA LONELY!!! Whenever it is time to go out you never have anything to wear and we aren’t talking about just running to get a new shirt, we are TALKING EVERYTIME its time to go out you need the whole dame wardrobe. You need a shirt, pants, shoes, accessories, your eyebrows, nails, and feet hair done. Are we going to the club or are we going to the DAMN prom and what the hell have you been looking like all damn WEEK!! You clearly do not go out enough if you need to do all of this before we go to the bar around the damn corner. YOU A LONELY BITCH!!! Who don’t go out enough because if you did, u would have something to FREAKIN wear!!!
5. You are a LONELY Bitch if you are always out with your MAMA, and guess what your MAMA is Lonely too. Now me and my mama are extremely close in age but I am not always out with her and she is not always out with me. We may hang and go to the mall or out to dinner but she is not my bff. We are not partying together and dropping it like its hot. If your mama is drops it like its hot, I want you to STOP READING NOW, GO GET YOUR CELL PHONE, Call her up and tell her don’t do that ISH no MORE!!! That is her reason for being lonely, yours is because your out at the club with the old lady tryna get her Tina Turner on and live out her Glory DAYS!! LOL, this will be you in 20 years if you don’t stop being a lonely BITCH!!
6. You are lonely if your entire life revolves around the TV!!! If someone ask you to go somewhere and you can’t go cuz you don’t want to miss American Idol or Dancing With the Stars!!! That is some lonely Bitch ISH!! Now I love TV just as much as the next person. But guess what I got a damn DVR. I will watch it later cuz I am going out with my homegirls!!

Now don’t get me wrong lonely is not the equivalency of single, even when I was Single a Bitch was never lonely and never Bored!! Always had somewhere to be, somewhere to go and something to do. I just hate for someone’s wonder years to pass them by, I got all my life to sit home and watch TV but I am only young once. LIVE LAUGH AND LOVE!!! And its the DAMN Weekend, go out and SHAKE SOMETHING wit ya lonely ass!!! LOL, Happy Friday FOLKS!!!

HoodRich but Real Life Broke!!! Yeah I'm Talking to YOU!!!

 Now after the last blog that whole experience got me to thinking and I mean seriously thinking. Made me really look at things in a different light!! I sat back and thought about all my homegirls that are laced, I mean all of us are fly and we have bags and shoes, etc. But one of my older homegirls in particular whom is a little older than me, I think she is puts all our jewelry, bag and shoe collections collectively to shame. She got a couple years on us, so it is kinda to be expected, but not at that rate. She has a decent apartment and she lives locally ( I won’t say the hood, I am just going to say locally, lol). She has a guy in her life who treats her well and he isn’t rich but he buys her pretty much whatever she asks for and whatever he won’t get she will get on her own. So she is still independent for the most part, she drives a nice ASS car, not a Toyota or Honda NICE, we are talking Brand new Lexus NICE!!!  And she can dress her ass off and when I say dress, I mean dress!!! The bitch is BAD, true to her designer labels and she blends in with us 20 Somethings whenever we do happy hour and the like!!! She does fairly well salary wise and she does have a kid, her son went to prom last year, so he is just about grown.

 Now I could have said she was younger OR that she lives with her mama OR she lives in the projects OR her boyfriend is a big time hustler OR she is on welfare or some mess like that. But for this particular blog I don’t want to paint a horrible picture because I want some of you to understand exactly where I am coming from and not disassociate yourselves the way you did with “35 and Single” blog.  I want you to truly read and realize what in the HELL is going on here. Oh and by the way if any of those last few scenarios above can be compiled into the initial scenario to paint a picture of your life, please ring the ALARM and que the damn Trumpets because I am about to wake your ASS UP.

Guess what?  I realized my Homegirl whom I love dearly is HoodRICH. 

Now what exactly is Hoodrich? Glad you asked, Hoodrich is when you put a hot tub in the apartment you are renting, or when you are pulling a brand new Mercedes up to your home in the hood or even worst up to YO MAMA HOUSE. Hoodrich is when you are wearing a MINK and hopping on and off the damn bus. That is what we call HoodRich!!! Now these are the extreme scenarios to kind of let you know what Hoodrich is. It is kind of like a version of ghetto fabulous, but the person isn’t necessarily ghetto. They look like they have it all, but when it all boils down to it, they really have absolutely NOTHING!!! Hoodrich people are into looking like they have money, when they are damn near living paycheck to paycheck and spending all there hard earned funds on what is tangible. This is Sister BROKE ASS, in the club without a damn DOLLAR but has a $500 pocketbook on her arm. OR Brother BrokeASSHELL with the $1,000 car note and NOT A STITCH of Funiture in his house and he got a big ass TV sitting on crates. Like I said HoodRICH!!!

Now I am a little Hoodrich too, wrote the book and wore the Purse with the MATCHING SHADES!!! I will be the first to admit it. But not to this damn extreme and neither is my homegirl. She is more of an Undercover HoodRich chick!!! I am at an age where being hood rich is expected. I am from the hood, I make fairly decent money at 27 and when I was younger  I felt like I was balling at one point in time!! Went to school for four years and thought I was living “the life” shortly after. I got my degree, started working in the city and living on my own at 22. I had my own place, fully furnished the way I wanted and I had my own car. I could buy a Gucci Bag at the mall and not feel like I was robbing Peter to pay PAUL!!!  Always had money to HIT THE CLUB Scene!!! BALLLLING!!! or so I thought. But this is the life one expects to have at that age, once you get a little older your priorities are suppose to change or atleast this is what I believe. I am trying to get PASSED HoodRich, my Homegilr, hmmm NOT SO MUCH!!     

See, there is a difference between what makes us look like we are doing good financially vs what it actually means to be doing good financially. Lets put this in perspective.

Let me paint a picture for you

Both women are over 40.

One chick has a nice ass car with a BIG ASS  NOTE and a closet full of high end designer threads. I mean the latest bags, the flyest coats, the baddest shoes, she has it. She is renting an apartment locally (the hood). Her dude is willing to buy her a whole lot of shit. I am not mad at her!! From the outside looking in, she is doing her numbers. She makes good money and drives a nice car. Her dude makes fairly decent money as well, so they compliment each other well. If she wants it he buys it, no matter what it cost. I am certain if he couldn’t buy her all of those things he probably wouldn’t be around, she loves the Ballers!!! So what is wrong with this? Absoluetely NOTHING!!! BUT and you knew a BIG ASS But was coming, she has no 401K, no retirement plan and no real savings and no real investments. This Lady is Hood RICH!!! Now, this is okay when you are in your early 20’s, we kind of expect it. He bought me this, He bought me that, blah blah blah. It’s cool, no harm no foul. I was this girl once upon a time in a land far far away. Sidebar to my young girls who are fly and fabulous who read the blog and are living the life, hopefully at the same time you are thinking long term too and are in school or figuring out what you want to do with your life because its all in fun now, but if you can not keep up the same lifestyle when the well run dries, you are going to have some serious problems. You will become one of the old hoes that I often talked about on Facebook, lol. Stuck where you are in life, always looking for the come up, living hood rich, but you are real life broke. I have seen it plenty of times. 

The other Chick who actually is good financially and not just keeping up appearances actually owns her home in a decent neighborhood (not local) and used her nice ass car money the first time around to finish her basement adding equity to her home, she has savings and a 401K and the interesting part is her and her man built this lifestyle together. Once the nice ass car money came around again, she bought a Mercedes!!! She had her “run” and gave up the game, hung up her gold digging shoes at about 30. She didn’t go into their relationship looking to get everything she could get right now, she thought about long term, not about purses and Pradas, but about homes and college funds for her kids, retirement plans and 401K’s. I mean she still isn’t a bum chick, she isn’t shopping in the $10 SPOT all of a sudden. She still has the purses and Pradas because she can TRULY afford them now. She goes on vacations at her leisure and is now traveling the world. Her man doesn’t just take care of her, he takes care of home and in the long run they will be financially set.

See one looks good and the other one is GOOD!!! Big difference!!

Here is my point, once you become a certain age, long term goals should be your priority and not stuff that loses its value the minute you walk out the store with it. We all try to keep up with the Joneses but don’t even realize that we don’t even know who the damn Joneses are because they aren’t hood rich, they ARE doing well financially and they are not even checking for you Boo (in my Sheree from RHWOA voice).

I say all of this to say, I just think we need to let go of the hood rich mentality, I say we because I too was bit by this bug. Shit we all were, that is a part of growing up in the hood. You want stuff you obviously can not afford. Me, my Gucci bag, and My BusCard, always together before I got my first car, hopping on the bus going to work, lol. Too dag on funny. I guess I am growing up because I can actually see where this all can lead if you don’t put things in perspective. I don’t want to be HoodRich but real life poor when I get older. Maybe it comes with being someone’s mother or clarity with age, they say 30 is a pivotal point, but some people hit 30 and never reach that pivot. For those of us who haven’t had this epiphany yet, allow me to spell it out for you. YOU ARE TO DAMN GROWN TO BE LIVING HOOD RICH!!! I was rocking Versace and Moschino in 12^th grade. During my college years, my boyfriends drove the flyest car, and we went on some hot ass dates. After college I traveled and enjoyed my youth. That is the way it should be and should have been, those were my Wonder Years, my years to be Hood Rich!! But now I am about to hit 30, in a few years of course lol, and everything is much clearer. I just feel for those whom haven’t hit that point of clarity as of yet and they are past 30 and don’t realize the long term impact it may have on their lives.

Just because your parents didn’t have, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t either. I am not talking about shoes and clothes and designer labels because a lot of us women base doing better than there parents solely on this, SMH at us. I would hate for my hood rich folks to see it when it no longer counts and honestly some of them may never see it. They die and don’t even have life insurance but drive around in the flyest cars, GTFOH. OR to see it when they are about to retire but they are still renting so they can’t really afford to retire because they still have to pay the damn rent!! SMH again!!! They got to work until they are 80, because there kids can’t afford to take care of them because they are to busy being hood rich as well. But guess what they got purses from 55 years ago and a whole lot of “I remember when stories.” You know the stories drunk Uncle Johnny tells you at every COOKOUT, where he always mentions and “remembers when” he had a Cadillac Coupe DeVille from 1979. We all have an Uncle Johnny or know an Uncle Johnny some how, some way.

Now lets backtrack because I am not speaking of those whom are poor or less fortunate, I do not necessarily expect for them to be able to save or make long term investments. I am talking about those of us whom have middle class funds coming in but spend ALL of it on Upper Class Trinkets. Or the ones who little to no funds coming in and live in Section 8 Housing but drive the latest Benz, hunh, where they do that at? I know where!!! In a Hood Near YOU!!!! That is why the damn Section 8 list is sooo damn long, people get on and start living hood rich and never get the hell off, lol. Section 8 is not suppose to be for life! They feel like they done MADE IT. Shut the Front Door and Call the COPS, because that is some real live HoodRich BullSh*t!!!

Now, it does makes sense to treat yourself sometimes, even if you are poor everybody deserves something nice occasionally; do whatever your version of treating yourself maybe. I still treat myself and will always treat myself but at the same time I am not going to treat myself to the point where I have all these trinkets and NO REAL MONEY!!! 

See I want to be the Joneses and not keep just try to keep up with them. I want to leave my child something in life, so when she goes to college, we aren’t robbing Peter to pay Paul and she doesn’t graduate with Sallie Mae clocking her paycheck. Yall know Sallie Mae don’t play, lol.  I want to leave her a home and show her what it is like to grow up somewhere other than the hood. I may not get there today but I will be damned if I am not there tomorrow, or I am approaching my 40’s and still HoodRich but real life poor. Or I am 70 and still working, anybody that knows me knows I barely go to work as is, I am not doing this for the next 40 years, Hell to the NOOOO! But seriously let’s prioritize here people. Let’s not put the horse before the dag on Carriage. After a certain point in our lives we know where the DAMN horse is supposed to go! Live Laugh and LOVE!!! And most importantly stop being HoodRich!!!