Now after the last blog that whole experience got me to thinking and I mean seriously thinking. Made me really look at things in a different light!! I sat back and thought about all my homegirls that are laced, I mean all of us are fly and we have bags and shoes, etc. But one of my older homegirls in particular whom is a little older than me, I think she is puts all our jewelry, bag and shoe collections collectively to shame. She got a couple years on us, so it is kinda to be expected, but not at that rate. She has a decent apartment and she lives locally ( I won’t say the hood, I am just going to say locally, lol). She has a guy in her life who treats her well and he isn’t rich but he buys her pretty much whatever she asks for and whatever he won’t get she will get on her own. So she is still independent for the most part, she drives a nice ASS car, not a Toyota
Now I could have said she was younger OR that she lives with her mama OR she lives in the projects OR her boyfriend is a big time hustler OR she is on welfare or some mess like that. But for this particular blog I don’t want to paint a horrible picture because I want some of you to understand exactly where I am coming from and not disassociate yourselves the way you did with “35 and Single” blog. I want you to truly read and realize what in the HELL is going on here. Oh and by the way if any of those last few scenarios above can be compiled into the initial scenario to paint a picture of your life, please ring the ALARM and que the damn Trumpets because I am about to wake your ASS UP.
Guess what? I realized my Homegirl whom I love dearly is HoodRICH.
Now what exactly is Hoodrich? Glad you asked, Hoodrich is when you put a hot tub in the apartment you are renting, or when you are pulling a brand new Mercedes up to your home in the hood or even worst up to YO MAMA HOUSE. Hoodrich is when you are wearing a MINK and hopping on and off the damn bus. That is what we call HoodRich!!! Now these are the extreme scenarios to kind of let you know what Hoodrich is. It is kind of like a version of ghetto fabulous, but the person isn’t necessarily ghetto. They look like they have it all, but when it all boils down to it, they really have absolutely NOTHING!!! Hoodrich people are into looking like they have money, when they are damn near living paycheck to paycheck and spending all there hard earned funds on what is tangible. This is Sister BROKE ASS, in the club without a damn DOLLAR but has a $500 pocketbook on her arm. OR Brother BrokeASSHELL with the $1,000 car note and NOT A STITCH of Funiture in his house and he got a big ass TV sitting on crates. Like I said HoodRICH!!!
Now I am a little Hoodrich too, wrote the book and wore the Purse with the MATCHING SHADES!!! I will be the first to admit it. But not to this damn extreme and neither is my homegirl. She is more of an Undercover HoodRich chick!!! I am at an age where being hood rich is expected. I am from the hood, I make fairly decent money at 27 and when I was younger I felt like I was balling at one point in time!! Went to school for four years and thought I was living “the life” shortly after. I got my degree, started working in the city and living on my own at 22. I had my own place, fully furnished the way I wanted and I had my own car. I could buy a Gucci Bag at the mall and not feel like I was robbing Peter to pay PAUL!!! Always had money to HIT THE CLUB Scene!!! BALLLLING!!! or so I thought. But this is the life one expects to have at that age, once you get a little older your priorities are suppose to change or atleast this is what I believe. I am trying to get PASSED HoodRich, my Homegilr, hmmm NOT SO MUCH!!
See, there is a difference between what makes us look like we are doing good financially vs what it actually means to be doing good financially. Lets put this in perspective.
Let me paint a picture for you
Both women are over 40.
One chick has a nice ass car with a BIG ASS NOTE and a closet full of high end designer threads. I mean the latest bags, the flyest coats, the baddest shoes, she has it. She is renting an apartment locally (the hood). Her dude is willing to buy her a whole lot of shit. I am not mad at her!! From the outside looking in, she is doing her numbers. She makes good money and drives a nice car. Her dude makes fairly decent money as well, so they compliment each other well. If she wants it he buys it, no matter what it cost. I am certain if he couldn’t buy her all of those things he probably wouldn’t be around, she loves the Ballers!!! So what is wrong with this? Absoluetely NOTHING!!! BUT and you knew a BIG ASS But was coming, she has no 401K, no retirement plan and no real savings and no real investments. This Lady is Hood RICH!!! Now, this is okay when you are in your early 20’s, we kind of expect it. He bought me this, He bought me that, blah blah blah. It’s cool, no harm no foul. I was this girl once upon a time in a land far far away. Sidebar to my young girls who are fly and fabulous who read the blog and are living the life, hopefully at the same time you are thinking long term too and are in school or figuring out what you want to do with your life because its all in fun now, but if you can not keep up the same lifestyle when the well run dries, you are going to have some serious problems. You will become one of the old hoes that I often talked about on Facebook, lol. Stuck where you are in life, always looking for the come up, living hood rich, but you are real life broke. I have seen it plenty of times.
The other Chick who actually is good financially and not just keeping up appearances actually owns her home in a decent neighborhood (not local) and used her nice ass car money the first time around to finish her basement adding equity to her home, she has savings and a 401K and the interesting part is her and her man built this lifestyle together. Once the nice ass car money came around again, she bought a Mercedes!!! She had her “run” and gave up the game, hung up her gold digging shoes at about 30. She didn’t go into their relationship looking to get everything she could get right now, she thought about long term, not about purses and Pradas, but about homes and college funds for her kids, retirement plans and 401K’s. I mean she still isn’t a bum chick, she isn’t shopping in the $10 SPOT all of a sudden. She still has the purses and Pradas because she can TRULY afford them now. She goes on vacations at her leisure and is now traveling the world. Her man doesn’t just take care of her, he takes care of home and in the long run they will be financially set.
See one looks good and the other one is GOOD!!! Big difference!!
Here is my point, once you become a certain age, long term goals should be your priority and not stuff that loses its value the minute you walk out the store with it. We all try to keep up with the Joneses but don’t even realize that we don’t even know who the damn Joneses are because they aren’t hood rich, they ARE doing well financially and they are not even checking for you Boo (in my Sheree from RHWOA voice).
I say all of this to say, I just think we need to let go of the hood rich mentality, I say we because I too was bit by this bug. Shit we all were, that is a part of growing up in the hood. You want stuff you obviously can not afford. Me, my Gucci bag, and My BusCard, always together before I got my first car, hopping on the bus going to work, lol. Too dag on funny. I guess I am growing up because I can actually see where this all can lead if you don’t put things in perspective. I don’t want to be HoodRich but real life poor when I get older. Maybe it comes with being someone’s mother or clarity with age, they say 30 is a pivotal point, but some people hit 30 and never reach that pivot. For those of us who haven’t had this epiphany yet, allow me to spell it out for you. YOU ARE TO DAMN GROWN TO BE LIVING HOOD RICH!!! I was rocking Versace and Moschino in 12th grade. During my college years, my boyfriends drove the flyest car, and we went on some hot ass dates. After college I traveled and enjoyed my youth. That is the way it should be and should have been, those were my Wonder Years, my years to be Hood Rich!! But now I am about to hit 30, in a few years of course lol, and everything is much clearer. I just feel for those whom haven’t hit that point of clarity as of yet and they are past 30 and don’t realize the long term impact it may have on their lives.
Just because your parents didn’t have, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t either. I am not talking about shoes and clothes and designer labels because a lot of us women base doing better than there parents solely on this, SMH at us. I would hate for my hood rich folks to see it when it no longer counts and honestly some of them may never see it. They die and don’t even have life insurance but drive around in the flyest cars, GTFOH. OR to see it when they are about to retire but they are still renting so they can’t really afford to retire because they still have to pay the damn rent!! SMH again!!! They got to work until they are 80, because there kids can’t afford to take care of them because they are to busy being hood rich as well. But guess what they got purses from 55 years ago and a whole lot of “I remember when stories.” You know the stories drunk Uncle Johnny tells you at every COOKOUT, where he always mentions and “remembers when” he had a Cadillac Coupe DeVille from 1979. We all have an Uncle Johnny or know an Uncle Johnny some how, some way.
Now lets backtrack because I am not speaking of those whom are poor or less fortunate, I do not necessarily expect for them to be able to save or make long term investments. I am talking about those of us whom have middle class funds coming in but spend ALL of it on Upper Class Trinkets. Or the ones who little to no funds coming in and live in Section 8 Housing but drive the latest Benz, hunh, where they do that at? I know where!!! In a Hood Near YOU!!!! That is why the damn Section 8 list is sooo damn long, people get on and start living hood rich and never get the hell off, lol. Section 8 is not suppose to be for life! They feel like they done MADE IT. Shut the Front Door and Call the COPS, because that is some real live HoodRich BullSh*t!!!
Now, it does makes sense to treat yourself sometimes, even if you are poor everybody deserves something nice occasionally; do whatever your version of treating yourself maybe. I still treat myself and will always treat myself but at the same time I am not going to treat myself to the point where I have all these trinkets and NO REAL MONEY!!!
See I want to be the Joneses and not keep just try to keep up with them. I want to leave my child something in life, so when she goes to college, we aren’t robbing Peter to pay Paul and she doesn’t graduate with Sallie Mae clocking her paycheck. Yall know Sallie Mae don’t play, lol. I want to leave her a home and show her what it is like to grow up somewhere other than the hood. I may not get there today but I will be damned if I am not there tomorrow, or I am approaching my 40’s and still HoodRich but real life poor. Or I am 70 and still working, anybody that knows me knows I barely go to work as is, I am not doing this for the next 40 years, Hell to the NOOOO! But seriously let’s prioritize here people. Let’s not put the horse before the dag on Carriage. After a certain point in our lives we know where the DAMN horse is supposed to go! Live Laugh and LOVE!!! And most importantly stop being HoodRich!!!
7 comments:
Great post.......
We can't be limited to thinking and acting like what surrounds us. This post to me is an example being exposed to what "good living" really is. Some people don't venture out of their surroundings because they become uncomfortable. I think the first chick would not befriend the second chick because she will feel intimidated.
I love being around people that have more than me. It's humbling, inspiring, and it allows me to evaluate my situation. I'm a stern believer in that "if you are the smartest one in your square, you need a new square"
Cultivating Patience, very well said, but HoodRich is a very vicious cycle and most people don't even realize that those whom appear to have it all, have nothing. We asppire for what makes us LOOK wealthy vs Actual Wealth and alot of folks don't realize there is a difference.
That whole HoodRich persona is definitely a product of living in the hood. AND I will admit I was once a victim of blowing my check at Short Hills, Century 21, etc. etc., just to look good. I still BMF {Blow Money Fast} from time to time but I do take care of my financial obligations right of the bat.
This post prompted me to do a little self-evaluation. AND I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a Work In Progress. I know I’m “judged” regularly and I think the most common criticism would be, ME not owning my own home. And some may say OH she doesn’t have her priorities in Line b/c that money she spends on rent is going down the drain. But I have my reasons for not making that move just yet and furthermore I’m strongly against those that are “HOUSE BROKE”. What’s the point of owning a home when you can’t afford to pay for it once those “Tax Abatements” expire or the ARM loan rates spiral out of control.
Altogether “Great Post”, It serves as a polite remainder for those that straddle the two sides and a great wake-up call to the younger ladies that are headed down a path of disbelief. They Key takeaway, is to focus on those things that will ultimately have you living good and eventually the looking good aspect becomes relative. It’s just a little compromise, but that extra 4% allocated to a 401k will go a long ways with time.
Overall, I’m thankful that I was fortunate enough to understand as “When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a WOman, I did away with childish things”
Very well said sister. I know i'm not hoodrich and never been. I always hit Target or Walmart. Mall??? maybe 4 times a year. Roliing in my Kia Sorento been living on my own since I was 20 and yes always fully furnished. Now I make sure I stay at TJ Maxx, Century21 and Marshall's because I refuse to pay full price for designer. Huh,the little name brands I do have.
Shakeerah touche'!!! I definitely understand the not wanting to be house broke, I too almost took that journey and in no means is that not a good thing, that is what one calls being financially savvy and knowing when to hold em and when to fold em. I also do not own my own home and heping someone else (my landlord) pay their mortgage, but as I stated I know that I too am a work in progress and as young people that is exactly where we are suppose to be, works in progress. I know he ain't through with me yet. But I am at that pivotal point in my life where I am starting to see the big picture, now by no means does that mean I am giving up the cushions of my life but I am thinking long term now. I will still have my BMF moments, TRUST!!! I will be in Jamaica this year and I need some new Pradas!! Hey I am who I am, but in the same breath I am reevaluating my priorities, this means instead of buying a new purse this spring and new shades, plus shopping for the key pieces that give my wardrobe that extra flair, I am going to put that extra 2 grand away!! and just wear the shades I have and wear the bags I own etc. Gotta prioritize, now that kid of mine, I am creating a monster, so I am going to slowdown on her as well. But u know we have 2 DRESS the babies!!! LOL, and that Mazda is just going to have to cut it until the wheels fall off. I will do a car note when I am good and ready, haven't had one in so long I can't even remeber, but honestly it is about prioritizing at this point. And havig that AHA Moment!! Happy to have given u some food for thought, the blog is all about inspiration and sharing my thaoughts in order to give others something to think about. THank You for your support and comments, I definintely appreciate it.
Anytime! Sometimes we have to help each other get on track! Even if its means dishing out the "bad".
At some point we'll have those moments wherein we actually give a little just to get a little more! Even though those new little trinkets shine so brightly, that trip to Jamaica and the extra emergency cash will shine brighter! Its sad but sometimes we may fall victim to sizing ourselves up with the "Hoodrich" but just find relief in knowing that "SSI" wont be your savior when you retire. It'll just be a lil extra $$$ to spend as you may!!
Keep em Coming!!
Well done. Well said. Now how do you get this point to the masses of HoodRich young ladies and more importantly those that are watching them and aspiring to be HR?
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