So I got up this morning and I already know I am going out with my bff since forever to night. Got the Kelly Bundy (short and tight) dress on Deck and I am ready to hit the scene. I called up a few of my single girlfriends and tried to convince them to come on out and they refuse. I SAID TO MYSELF, Self when you were single u was always out, hitting the scene solo if you felt like it. Not on the hunt, but def on the prowl. Happy hour after work, Dollar Wednesdays, the hood bars, Whatever!!! I hit the scene and I hit it frequently. What is going on here? How in the hell these young, single, no kid having heffas (In my post it’s a term of endearment, MY BLOG MY RULES) always in the HOUSE? I am trying to figure out what the hell they got in there. I been there and it ain’t no MAN in there, no Kids, maybe it’s a dog or a cat in there that is on its last leg and needs 24 hr care, because I have no clue why the hell these chicks never go out. Now the club scene ain’t for everybody, I personally can only do an actual club about once every 2 months. I prefer after work spots and if I do go somewhere, I prefer to be a comfy ass possible, still sexy but comfortable. So this BLOG IS FOR ALL MY LONELY BITCHES (another term of endearment just for today)!! Get the HELL UP AND TAKE YOUR ASS THE HELL OUTSIDE!!! Nothing comes to a sleeper but a DREAM!! So wake ur ur
- You always out with your girlfriend and her man> Bitch yo ass is LONELY!!! Why in God’s name do you feel the need to be the 3rd wheel all the time. We are not in high school, we to damn old to be playing tag along. First of all the chick that is allowing u to tag along is a damn fool because that is breeding grounds for a Jerry Springer moment. That’s right this is how the bff and the man gets to humping around. Yall saw “Why did I get married?” She had a bestfriend that was a Lonely Bitch. Clearly if you go on a double date and you don’t have a DATE your Ass is Lonely.
- You spend all of your free time worried about your dog or cat and your whole life is built around dog and cat activities. Call you up, you and the dog lying in the Bed, you and the dog going to the mall, you and the dog having dinner. Everything is about you and the DAMN dog. I start talking about my Kid or boyfriend and you chime in about the Damn Dog!!! Dogs are not kids and comparing your dog to my kid is borderline offensive. Now don’t get me wong I am all about the ANIMALS!!! GO PETA!!! But damn it,
ur - Now here is one of the Big Ones. YOU A LONELY BITCH If, you got all the answers to everybody relationship troubles and you don’t have a RELATIONSHIP!!! I don’t know none of yall cuz I stay clear of this type of lonely Bitch, won’t have me sitting on the couch eating Bon Bon’s with your lonely ass. You tryna make me lonely and fat at the same time!!! OH HELL NO!!! But seriously you are lonely because you are spending all of your free time minding everybody elses business instead of your own.
- OKKK and this is how u know your ass is lonely with a side of EXTRA LONELY!!! Whenever it is time to go out you never have anything to wear and we aren’t talking about just running to get a new shirt, we are TALKING EVERYTIME its time to go out you need the whole dame wardrobe. You need a shirt, pants, shoes, accessories, your eyebrows, nails, and feet hair done. Are we going to the club or are we going to the DAMN prom and what the hell have you been looking like all damn WEEK!! You clearly do not go out enough if you need to do all of this before we go to the bar around the damn corner. YOU A LONELY BITCH!!! Who don’t go out enough because if you did, u would have something to FREAKIN wear!!!
- You are a LONELY Bitch if you are always out with your MAMA, and guess what your MAMA is Lonely too. Now me and my mama are extremely close in age but I am not always out with her and she is not always out with me. We may hang and go to the mall or out to dinner but she is not my bff. We are not partying together and dropping it like its hot. If your mama is drops it like its hot, I want you to STOP READING NOW, GO GET YOUR CELL PHONE, Call her up and tell her don’t do that ISH no MORE!!! That is her reason for being lonely, yours is because your out at the club with the old lady tryna get her Tina Turner on and live out her Glory DAYS!! LOL, this will be you in 20 years if you don’t stop being a lonely BITCH!!
- You are lonely if your entire life revolves around the TV!!! If someone ask you to go somewhere and you can’t go cuz you don’t want to miss American Idol or Dancing With the Stars!!! That is some lonely Bitch ISH!! Now I love TV just as much as the next person. But guess what I got a damn DVR. I will watch it later cuz I am going out with my homegirls!!
Now don’t get me wrong lonely is not the equivalency of single, even when I was Single a Bitch was never lonely and never Bored!! Always had somewhere to be, somewhere to go and something to do. I just hate for someone’s wonder years to pass them by, I got all my life to sit home and watch TV but I am only young once. LIVE LAUGH AND LOVE!!! And its the DAMN Weekend, go out and SHAKE SOMETHING wit ya lonely ass!!! LOL, Happy Friday FOLKS!!!
2 comments:
Oh my Liyah, glad I didn't have u callin me b4 Zion and b4 I got a man b/c I wud have been one of them LONELY BITCHES u talkn bout.
So look at it this way, maybe they are broke and aint got much money. They need that 20 bill 2 stretch the nxt 2wks. Oh or maybe they just like I was and still am (my grandmother said I am a house bird). I been like this since I was a kid. Entire fam wud roadtrip dwn 2 Miami or Tampa and I wud stay behind in the house with my grandmother.
I like your #3. Definitely definitely true to the word.
Loving your blogs homie.
LOL, Now Angel even if ya broke, $20 ain't gonna help you, ur still technically broke, so you might as well have fun with that $20. No but seriously some people are just house people and like to be in doors and that may be what works for them, but I always say nothnig comes to a sleeper but a dream. A part of us needs to venture out and enjoy life. THe house bird doesn't have to go to the club, she can go to the Met or to the park. I was the queen of the wine in the water bottle, with my blanket and my cosmo magazine while I sat in the park. Can you say a nice, cheap, relaxing day out!!! SO everythnig isn't for everybody, but I want everyone to get out, live, laugh and love!!!
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